the lost

[ranter]

How come I'm not holy?
How come none of us are holy?

Are we lost in this awesome
age of technology?
Have we wandered away,
off the BEATen track?
I cant see the path.
Is there even a path there anymore?

But, I want to be holy.
I truly do.
I yearn for it.
It is closure!
It is burned into my head,
my heart,
my very soul,
that I need it
that it needs me!

When will I be holy?
When will I be enlightened?

I feel as if I'm wasting all my
energies searching,
when,
I'd rather be exhausting all my
energies worshipping,
or praying,
or meditating.

Rob says I'm wasting my
time, "You don't need that, man!"

But, I want to be Angelic!
I strive to be saintly!
I desire to be a bottivhista!

Are we more lost than the
lost?
I know where I am.
I hope i know where I am.
I don't know where I am.

I want to see visions
I need this
It's an angry fix
this is a dire time indeed
We are not fine!

When will they tell us to straighten up?
Why can't they see us crying?
even though we aren't
really crying
the tears are still real
the tears are still flesh & blood.

I cry for myself,
I cry for Rob,
I cry for Justin,
I cry for Jessica, even though she
"found" god;
especially since she found god.
she found god on the wrong
note at the wrong time
in the wrong place for the wrong reason

I'm not jealous,
really I'm not.

I cannot have blind faith.
I'm too skeptical.
I need to feel it with my hands
I need it to cool my warm flesh
now, in this life,
othersie, I pray I may be
forever lost.

[machinery]

more of a personal vindetta (sp)....asking yourself questions...giving yourself answer, using people in your life...and that's what makes it strong for many reasons, but also makes it unclear at points.....i think maybe those (sidethoughts) that (background information) could really fit nicely in this poem....but that is only if you are one for revising....i like to revise....but..most don't... but still....this poem put thoughts in my head....and it was different....i like the topics you choose to write about....*nods*